Oh here we go.

Because I said last week this is something I think we all need to talk about. I’m going to talk about it.

Also because this is something people are continuing to talk about. I’m going to join the discussion.

I have to be honest, I’ve been mostly ignoring the news since last week. I just couldn’t bear to listen to the stories of funerals. I could bear even less politicians calling for our teachers to be armed.

On the flip side, I’ve had some good talks with friends who both agree and disagree with my opinions. There have been promising comments out of Washington and the White House. For all of the stupid, there has been some sanity shining through.

A couple of general things that keep coming up in discussions and online that I’d just like to address. When I talk about gun control and how I think it’s a good idea, here’s what I mean. Because there’s still a lot of misconceptions and differing opinions and, sometimes, a flat out willful misunderstanding.

1) Gun control doesn’t necessarily mean an all out ban on guns.

First of all, a ban on guns is not going to happen, at least not any time soon. Individuals may say that’s what they want but nowhere is there a serious discussion of an all out gun ban. Not on Capitol Hill. Not in state governments. There is no political will to indiscriminately ban guns and I don’t really know how many people want that anyway.

Most people, on both sides of the argument, seem to agree that there needs to be more regulation. Longer waiting periods. Better background checks. More education. Fix the gun show problem and certainly crack down on online sellers. And this is why it’s called gun “control” not gun “banning.”

2) On that note, it’s not a right/wrong, yes/no, black/white issue.

Most issues aren’t. I hate the state of politics and level of discourse in this country that has made everything into an insanely polarized issue. It’s always this Democrats vs. Republicans, Conservatives vs. Liberals thing. Life ain’t that simple, people ain’t that simple. Let’s take back the conversation and consider the nuances. The media’s a lot to blame for this, both sides. So’s Newt Gingrich. But so are we. We are adults. We are capable of reason. I hope?

People seem to get so caught up in thinking we have to talk about gun bans that they stop thinking rationally about all gun control. That needs to stop. People need to take a break, cut out the knee jerk reactions, and realize that even when we disagree on guns in general, there are a lot of places where we do agree. A lot more can happen if we start talking about the points we agree on rather than forcing the discussion into an “I’m Right, You’re Wrong” kind of thing.

3) Yes, we need to talk about mental healthcare in this country.

But talking about mental healthcare doesn’t mean we don’t also need to talk about guns. They’re both important things, they’re both broken. But I think it’s a mistake to think one is more important than the other, in thinking that working on our mental healthcare system is going to fix our gun violence situation. I don’t know how to say this without making it sound like I’m brushing off the mental healthcare situation. Because believe me, I’m not. The part where our prison system has become our solution to people with metal illnesses is a huge problem. People need to have more access to mental healthcare and there needs to be more funding for it.

But saying we only need to talk about Mental Illness, that’s implying this is only a mental health problem. And it’s not. First of all, most mentally ill people are not going to take a gun and shoot up a school. That may be a factor in why someone would do something like this, but it’s not the whole story. If nothing else, making this conversation only about mental healthcare, it’s adding to the existing stigma and prejudice against the mentally ill.

4) The Second Amendment

Ugh. I hate this one. For a number of reasons but here are a couple. First, the interpretation that the 2nd Amendment grants the unlimited right for individuals to own and carry any gun they want is questionable at best. Second, it was written in the context of the Revolutionary War. As a friend on Facebook said, Calm down guys, the British are not still coming. Third, it says very clearly A Well Regulated Militia. Well. Regulated. Whatever else, what we have now is not well regulated by any means. And certainly not a militia but smarter people than me talk about that part in the courts. Let’s work on that.

And if you want to talk about the Constitution, let’s talk about the First Amendment also. You know, that freedom of speech one. People have a right to their opinions and to share their opinions. Stop yelling at the ones you don’t agree with. Stop the name calling. Unfriend them if you really want to, but respect people’s right to disagree with you and their right to say what they want. We don’t have to agree about these things but we should be civil about that disagreement.

5) Bats are not equal to Guns. Cars are not equal to Guns. Knives are not equal to Guns. Fill-in-the-Blank is probably not equal to guns.

I said this the other day, these arguments are reductive and distracting. You can do some damage with a baseball bat, sure. You’re not going to massacre a grade school classroom with one. The same day as the shooting in Newtown, a man in China attacked a school with a knife. Children were injured, none died. Yes, people can still build bombs. Most people committing these mass shootings do not have the access, the skill, or the motivation to research, buy supplies, and build bombs. I’m also guessing it would be a lot easier to spot a kid testing explosives in the garage vs. a kid sneaking into a parent’s gun cabinet.

And as far as cars go, just stop it. Cars and driving are way more regulated than guns. You want to compare cars to guns? By all means, please, regulate the guns as well as we regulate the driving. I won’t complain.

6) We need more guns in classrooms.

I have lots of feelings but to put it simply. I wouldn’t want to go to a school where there were guns. I would not want my children in a school where the teachers were armed. Period the end you are not changing my mind.

7) What kind of country do you want to live in?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live in the kind of country where mass shootings are a common feature of the nightly news program. I don’t want to live in the kind of country where violence and fear are a part of our daily lives. I want to live in a country where people talk reasonably and work together to solve our problems. I want to live in a country where compassion is commonplace, where we take care of those who cannot take care of themselves, like people who need mental healthcare. I want to live in a country where I can send my kids to school and not be afraid for their lives, a country where my kids can go to school and feel safe. I do not want to live in fear or with hate or even cynicism.

The people who argue we need guns to protect ourselves from the government? I don’t believe we live a country where that’s necessary. And that’s not the kind of country I want to live in either.

I believe we are better than this. It’s time to step up and start acting like it.

***

In the midst of all of the bad news and nonsense, there have certainly been some positive signs as well. From gun buyback programs to sporting goods stores at least temporarily stopping the sale of guns to politicians vetoing concealed weapons legislation. There has been a lot of good commentary right there next to a lot of the terrible.

For example, even Joe Scarborough had this to say:

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I don’t know. There are other opinions out there. Feel free to disagree with me. But please, don’t ignore this is a problem, don’t turn into an ostrich with your head in the sand. We can fix this. We just need to try a little harder and be a little nicer.

It’s time, it’s past time really, to say that this is enough. Because Newtown shouldn’t have happened in the first place and it certainly should never happen again. At least that part is something I think we can all agree on.